Greatest Mistake
by SVUFan4Life
Summary: Elliot and Olivia were childhood best friends. They knew each other's deepest, darkest secrets. Their relationship deepens in high school. Then Elliot leaves for the Marines. He made his greatest mistake. E/O
1. Together

**This story is totally different from my first one. I was laying in bed and this idea popped in my head. I had another fic i was planning on writing but this idea sounds so much better! haha. also, i needed a more original idea than the one i had, and i think i found it lol. **

**here's the summary...**

**Elliot and Olivia are childhood best friends. They know each other's deepest and darkest secrets. High school comes around, and their feelings for each other deepen into something more. Then Elliot leaves her for the Marines. He didn't realize that he had made his greatest mistake.**

**the first few chaps I am going through really the entire summary. Describing their relationship through their lives. So its going to be a few chaps of different ages and drama. The first part is short, so after it the story jumps right to high school. Enjoy!  
><strong>**  
>$%^%$%#$#$%<strong>

It started with two kids, in one classroom, in the third grade, fending for themselves in the big world. They both had fucked up home lives, and the other one knew it. They didn't understand at that age how messed up it was, though.

"Olivia?," 10 year old Elliot asked," What happened?"

She had a bruise on her arm, like someone had grabbed her.  
>"Nothing. That's an old one," she said casually, with a calloused voice as she colored in her coloring book.<p>

"I didn't see that one. I have one." He showed her his on his arm.

For two kids, they handled it as well as it could be.

"That looks weird," Olivia said.

"It's a bruise, it's not supposed to be pretty," he said, with a bit of attitude.

The lunch bell rang. They both ran to lunch, because they didn't really eat otherwise.

"I love pizza!," Elliot exclaimed as they read the menu.

"You love every food Elliot," she said with a roll of her chocolate brown eyes.

"Except spinach. So HA! I don't like everything snootie pants," he said in a snarky tone.

"Your a butt munch!," she said angrily.

They did everything together. They avoided their houses as much as they could, so they would go to the park or stay after school together.

A few days later, for a school project, they had to make something for someone they cared about. Elliot and Olivia each made something for the other. Olivia, being a girl, made a bracelet for him, and he made a picture for her. It was them as police officers, catching bad guys and she laughed at it.

"Elliot, my hands aren't that big!"

"It's supposed to be you as a cop when your older. Sorry."

"It's okay. I love it! Here you go." She handed him a bracelet that had the letters that spelled out "Best Friends" on it.

He laughed. "I'm not a girl!"

"You don't have to wear it silly! I made it because you are and I couldn't think of anything else to do."

She ran over and put her picture in her backpack, and he put his bracelet in his.

Best Friends Forever.

**#$%^&%$#!#**

**going straight to the end of high school... **

**They just began their senior year. They are still best friends.**

**#$%^&*&^%**

Olivia and Elliot were very close throughout high school. Elliot kicked guys asses when they mentioned something about Olivia that wasn't appropriate. He had gotten suspended at least 3 times because of that. To him, she was the most beautiful person that had ever been on the earth.

"Elliot, did something happen last night?," she asked, seeing his facial expression when he got to school. It was also how they started every morning conversation. They feared for the other that something serious would happen at home.

"No," he said harshly.

"El, whatever it is you can tell me." She tried touching his arm.

"LIV!," he yelled, also throwing his arm away from her touch. "I don't wanna talk about it."

She stood there, shocked. She knew it had to be something serious for him to explode on her like that. She watched him walk away.

She watched him in their classes. His expression never changed. He stared angrily and powerfully, not paying attention to anything any of his teachers were saying.

At lunch he tried apologizing to her, realizing the mistake he had made. She didn't want to accept it until she looked into his eyes. She saw him pleading for her forgiveness. "Liv, shit happened last night. It was bad. Me and my dad...It doesn't matter. I'm sorry for yelling at you. Can we take a walk after school?"

She sighed heavily. "Why didn't you just tell me that? Instead you yelled at me like it was my fault. We both have fucked up lives. Shit happened at home with me and my mom and you don't see me yelling at you about it."

He didn't sit with her to argue with her. "Liv...please."

She thought about it. He was the only person that understood her. "Fine. We'll go for a walk. I don't wanna go home. Mom and her new boyfriend just broke up, meaning Jack Daniels is her best friend at the moment."

After school they took their usual path through Central Park they used to clear their minds. She started shivering because of the frigid air. He wrapped around her, something he did often when she needed someone to comfort her and also when she was cold. She felt safe in his embrace, like he was always going to be there for her. She never really had winter clothes because her mom didn't buy them for her.

They talked everything out and by the time they got to a fountain he turned to her. "Liv, I have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to freak out on me." He looked into her eyes.

"Okay, as long as it's not something crazy," she laughed, not realizing he was about to sound completely crazy.

"You might think it is...I have been thinking alot lately, about you. I've realized that since the third grade we have been there for each other. You understand me. You..." He grabbed her hands, and her eyes got wider. "I...I'm in love with you Liv. If you don't want that, tell me, and we can go back to being friends, but I want something more. It's up to you."

She didn't know what to say. She wanted it as much as he did, but she couldn't deal with it. She pulled her hands away and grabbed her head like she had a headache, but she was just absorbing the shock. She tore her eyes away from his before she gave in. "El...I..." She was speechless.

He stood there, waiting for an answer, but took the gesture of her pulling her hands away as a sign that she didn't want it.

"How...? We can't just start a relationship." Her mind was telling her to run and never look back, but her heart was telling her this is what she wanted. He read her face and saw the doubt, but also that twinkle in her eyes that told him she wanted it.

"Why not?" He stopped her while she was pacing back and forth, grabbing her hands again. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the bracelet she made for him all those years ago.

She looked into his piercing blue eyes, and she felt like she was going to die. He leaned forward and moved towards her.

"It's...El...We can't..." She wasn't fighting him. He leaned forward slowly until their lips barely touched. She quit fighting and fell into the kiss until it became deeper, more passionate. He released her hands to wrap them around her body as she did the same to him.

They stopped kissing and just stared at each other.

"What was that about we can't do this Liv?," he smirked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that if my mom ever finds out, we're both screwed."  
>"If my dad ever found out...I don't wanna think about it. We just have to be careful."<p>

They walked home. He was wrapped around her like he usually did, this time with a deeper meaning than usual. They walked until they got to the end of the block where her apartment was. He kissed her goodnight.  
>"Call me later Liv," he said insistently.<br>"I will." She practically whispered as she walked away.

Senior year was about to get more heated then either of them had expected.

**$%^^*^*%^$#$**

**I combined the first couple chapters to make it longer. hope you like! :D  
>thanks to whoever's reading already. <strong>**review please! :) **


	2. Finally Free

**time jump! its been 4 months since they started dating. olivia's 18th bday. what happens? rated m for a reason. lol**

**&%^&%$**

The day Olivia had been waiting for forever it seemed. Her 18th birthday. This day meant she could legally move out. She had a job and was ready to put the down payment on an apartment as soon as she got home from school that day.

"Happy birthday beautiful," Elliot said as he came up behind her.  
>"Thanks." Olivia was smiling. So much was within that smile. There was relief, she was excited, and she couldn't wait to move out later that day. "I know I already told you, but I am getting an apartment after school. Do you wanna come with me?"<p>

"Of course I do." He wrapped around her. He didn't want to do this to her, but he had news for her.

She looked at him, and could tell that something wasn't right. Sure he was happy, but she could see beneath that through his eyes.

"El, what's wrong?"

"Nothin, just get through today, we'll talk later."

"Okay?," she said furrowing her eyebrows, still smiling.

That day couldn't be over fast enough. Elliot hid what he was going to tell her all day.

Olivia had the apartment she wanted in mind. It was cheap, but it looked nice and it was perfect for her. She hadn't said anything yet, but she wanted Elliot to move in with her. Elliot escorted her to the building she planned on getting an apartment in.

She signed and became a new person. She felt like this was the start to the rest of her life. Her and Elliot were walking to her moms place when she stopped him. "Move in with me."

"What?"

"You heard me. Move in with me. You need to get out of that hell hole home of yours too ya know?," she smiled again.

"Yeah Liv. I would love to but..."

She got scared. Did he not love her anymore? Did he want to break up with her? "El, what is it?"

He had a choice. He could tell her and ruin their relationship or act like nothing was wrong at all.  
>"Never mind. I will move in with you. It's nothing. Just my own insecurities I guess. I love you." He kissed her, covering up what he had to tell her.<p>

She let it go. She went and got her stuff, careful not to wake her mom up off of the couch. They were in and out quickly.

They stepped out of the apartment with what Olivia wanted to keep, and Olivia finally felt free. Everything was going right for her at this moment. They went and grabbed some of Elliot's things.

They got to her apartment that was already furnished, partially why Olivia chose it. Her and Elliot got comfortable on the couch.

"I love you so much Elliot. Thanks for helping me."

"I love you too Liv." He kissed her. It was like daggers in his heart. He loved her so much but didn't want to hurt her. He figured he would wait it out and see how things went.

They kissed on the couch, then she started tugging at his pants.  
>"Liv, are you sure?" They had waited until they knew it was serious between them.<br>"El, you're the most sure thing that I've ever had."

With that they started shedding clothes. They felt the passion and fire as they were kissing. He kissed his way down her body and touched every part of her. He tweaked her nipples and she moaned. He licked her slit once and she bucked her hips up to him. He stuck a finger into her core. She instantly felt the pleasure. He stroked her insides slowly.

He started licking her clit.  
>"Holy shit! El!" She grabbed the back of his head as he continued his assault. He added a second finger and started moving faster. He hit a spot within her that drove her mad. She started bucking her hips. He felt her clench around his fingers and he slowed down.<br>"What the fuck?" she asked through labored breathing. She was pissed he was teasing her.  
>"I'm not going to rush this." He lifted completely off of her clit and just moved his fingers slowly, then sped them up quick until he felt her clenching again.<p>

"FUCK EL! PLEASE!," she whined.

"I'm not rushing this." He grinned slyly at her. She realized he was serious. It was torture but pleasure at the same time. He stopped completely inside of her. She bucked her hips to try to get him to move again.

"Are you gonna complain?"  
>"No! I'm sorry! Just move!"<p>

He started moving his fingers quickly. "God El!" She met his fingers thrust for thrust. He slowly added a third finger. He felt her clenching and figured it was enough with games. He attached his mouth to her clit and sucked on it. "FUCK! OH MY GOD!"  
>He felt her clench around his fingers hard. Her head thrashed from side to side and she gripped what she could. He lapped everything up that she was giving him.<p>

He kissed her hard as he lifted her off of the couch. He carried her to their bedroom. He grabbed a condom and rolled it over his member.

He positioned himself at her entrance.

He looked in her eyes as he slowly entered her. She gasped. She wasn't expecting him to be that size. The pain quickly turned into pleasure as he slowly moved. They both moaned as he moved.  
>"I love you Liv."<br>"I love you El. Oh my god!" It was happening. She felt the feeling deep within her.

He sped up his thrusts and felt her clenching around him. She held him within her, triggering his own release. They looked into eachother's eyes as he released.

He stilled within her and laid next to her. They kissed madly.

They snuggled up and fell asleep, happy to start their new lives together.

**!#$%%^&**

**Uh oh...hes hiding something from her. he cant keep it a secret forever. but they are trying to stay together. what happens?**  
><strong>thanks for reading! review please! :)<strong>


	3. Shattered

**And another time jump. another 2 months has passed so they have been together 6 months. its march of their senior year.**

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

It was their 6 month anniversary. Elliot had picked up flowers and a card for her. He had kept his secret for 3 months, he couldn't do it any longer. It was eating him up inside. He couldn't keep leading her on like this. It was now or never.

He set up a romantic dinner for them. He made chicken with some broiled vegetables. Chicken was her favorite food. Olivia walked in from her job at 9 30 pm. He worked too, but only on weekends. It was a Friday night. "Oh my...El their beautiful." He kissed her.

She sat and they ate their meal together. She moaned as she ate, "El it's perfect! Amazing." She was hungry. The moaning was causing reactions in him, he quickly shook his thoughts away and got serious.

"Liv, I have something to tell you. I love you very much and this is bothering me."

She looked up from her plate with a mouthful of food. She swallowed it down with some water. "Your food, was great. Now I'm so full I don't think I can move."

He chuckled. "Glad to hear it Liv. I have to tell you something."

"What?," she asked optimistically, not worried because the night was going perfectly so far.

"Remember a few months ago when we first moved in here? You thought something was bothering me, well..there was. And it's still bothering me. I don't regret anything in our relationship, not for one second. You know about my father and how he is?," Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

"Well...he wants me to follow in his footsteps."

"What's that mean exactly? Your accepted into the police academy already. Aren't we going together?," she asked, knowing it's what they had talked about.

"Not exactly. Remember I told you he was in the Marines before the police academy?"

She almost spit out the water she had started sipping on. "What are you talking about? You're going to the marines? You..."

"Liv, there was no good time to tell you. I leave when school ends. The only way I could get out of that house alive was saying yes to my dad. I have to go."

"So you're just gonna leave when school ends? And you knew about it and didn't tell me? That's just great. What's your motto in life? Fuck em then dump em?" She was hurt, pissed off, and right now, not ready to hear all of this.

"Who said anything about dumping you Liv? And no that's not my motto Liv...I love you." He was trying desperately to calm her down.

"I don't wanna hear that shit! If you loved me then we wouldn't even be having this conversation. You could have said no to moving in or better yet, just told me when you found out!"

"Liv, I didn't want to hurt you!"

"AND waiting to tell me didn't hurt me how?," she asked, knowing he didn't have the answer.

"Liv, I wanna make the next 2 months the best months of our lives."

"What if I'm done wasting my time?" She looked at him.  
>"You think us was a waste of time?," he asked, hurt in his voice and face.<p>

She didn't know what to say anymore. She was hurt, upset, angry, but happy with him. She just looked down at the floor as she spoke. "I just...think that if your gonna leave then why are we wasting our time now?" She fought the tears in her voice.

"Because I love you, and you love me."

"I don't know what that means anymore." She got up and went to the bedroom. He tried chasing after her but she wasn't letting him in.

"I'll sleep on the couch then," he said through the door. She didn't care. She was crying.

"Just leave Elliot! There's no point in you being here anymore!," she yelled as she cried. This was why she was afraid to fall in love, to be with him. This is why she had built walls around herself the way she had. She finally let someone in, and all her fears were being realized.

He felt like shit. This is the woman he loved, crying because of him. He wasn't leaving that easily. He set up a bed on the couch. He went through his mind trying to rewind time. If only he could go back and just tell her when he knew about it, instead of waiting and hurting her more.

She stayed in the room the whole night. They both laid awake on their separate sides of the apartment, both remembering what they had before this day. It hurt her more than anything, because now she couldn't find a way to let him back in.

The next day she woke up to an empty apartment. Elliot had to work at 8 am. It was 8 30. She was glad she didn't have to see him. She hadn't gone to sleep until 3 in the morning, when she fell asleep from exhaustion.

She instantly started crying again. She realized she had to let him go, and he wasn't coming back when he was set to leave that May. What was she going to do?

He was thinking the same things. He needed a way to make it up to her, but there was nothing he could do. He knew she was angry, and knew she wasn't forgiving him anytime soon. Maybe he should just let her have her space. Maybe it was best to leave her.

He was broken up inside thinking about that. He was hurting her more by being around her.

That day when he got home from work, he found her on the couch, waiting for him. "Liv, we need to talk."

She scoffed. Her face was still red and puffy from crying. "I need to leave. I have to go, there's no way to avoid it. What do you want to do?"  
>She looked at him. "I want to go back in time," she simply said. "Before us even happened. We should just be friends."<p>

"How is that going to work out?," he asked.  
>"I don't know, but it's going to. I have to move on and so do you," she said, no pain in her voice. She was becoming numb to it.<p>

He knew what she meant. They wouldn't be together anymore. He loved her, but she was right. He was going to leave, and it might be less heartbreaking for them if they were friends when they went their separate ways.

Her mind was all over. She thought she was making the best choice for them. "Are you gonna stay in the apartment Elliot?," she asked bluntly, using his full name on purpose.

"I guess, if you don't mind. I can sleep on the couch for a couple of months until I leave."

They both heard their hearts breaking into pieces.

**#$%^&*(*&^%$**

**Aww, their hearts are broken :( it must be done though. up next elliot and olivia go their separate ways for good...**

**thanks for reading!** **review please :)**


	4. One last time

**This chapter is going to sum up the last couple of months of their senior year, then they go their separate ways. :(**

**thanks to everyone already reviewing and adding to your alerts :)**

**back to the drama!**

**#$%^&*&^%$**

1 month. 1 agonizing month had passed by when she didn't feel his warm arms around her, have his beautiful soft lips on hers, and 1 month without him. She was dying inside. How was she going to make it without him?

He was in agony without her. Even though they still talked, it wasn't anything like before. They didn't sit and talk or just sit and laugh anymore. It was a simple "Hi" or "Hey." They didn't know what else to say to each other. In school they didn't talk anymore. She sat by herself at lunch, and when he would attempt to sit with her, she would move to another spot.

He didn't know it was because she was beating herself up for what had happened. She also would melt into his eyes again if she looked at him for more than a second. She made her decision. She wanted to stick by it.

He didn't want to say anything to her, he didn't want to hurt her anymore. There was no fixing this.

She was a robot, just coasting through the motions of life. Without him, she didn't have one. Without her, he didn't exist.

She went straight to the bedroom when she got home from school.

She was sifting through a drawer while she was cleaning. She pulled out a folded piece of paper. It was the drawing Elliot had given her all those years ago. She started crying. She remembered those days. She missed those days, when everything was so simple. The only thing that wasn't simple was her home life. She missed the days when her and Elliot could just be themselves and not worry about the rest of the world. She missed the way he used to comfort her when she came to school. She missed him. She missed the friendship, the bond.

He came in behind her, seeing what she was holding.  
>"Liv?," she quickly turned around to see him holding the bracelet. "Best Friends. I remember when we used to be, and I know this isn't what it was like."<p>

He went towards her, and hugged her. She cried into him as he comforted her. God she missed that, but then she realized what she was doing. He looked at her, and she looked at him.

"Uhm, I have to be somewhere." She pulled out of the hug quickly, wiping away the tears, and walked away from him. He almost had her back.

"Liv, don't leave yet," he begged her.

"Why not? You will be in a month," she snapped. She resented him for leaving. She walked out of the apartment.

He wanted to go after her, but he thought she didn't want him to.

A few hours later, she returned, and again, went straight back to her room without making eye contact with him.

He was bound and determined to make amends in some way with her before he left.

_"Oh god El." she moaned as he put his hands over her body. He entered her slowly. He thrusted.  
>"Fuck, OH MY GOD EL!" Olivia came within seconds of him starting.<em>

Her alarm woke her up. She remembered. That last night they were together before their fight. He was like a plague, consuming every part of her body.

Elliot was in the kitchen when she got up, she saw breakfast laid out on the table already. French toast and bacon, one of her favorites. He did that on purpose.

"Elliot what is this?" It was the first real sentence she had said to him in a month, when she wasn't running away from him.

"Food, yummy food," He laughed. She gave a half hearted smile. He missed that. He missed everything about her. He missed the way she felt under him. He missed her kiss, her smell, her touch.

"Thanks," she said. It was enough for him, knowing he was getting somewhere.

"No problem. Do you want juice or milk?"  
>"Juice please."<br>He poured her a cup of orange juice. She ate her plate of food.

She went to the bedroom to get changed. He was about to get his clothes out of the bathroom, and he caught a glimpse of her changing. She had matching bra and underwear on. He missed her. He shook the thoughts out of his head quickly as much as he could so he could finish getting ready.

"Liv, do you want a ride today?," he asked.

"No, I'll take the bus."

She was gone before he got out of the bathroom. He was trying anything he could think of to spend time with her.

**^%$##$%**

It was 1 day before their last day of school and graduation. Elliot was making slow progress with her. She was starting to talk to him again.

He had to try something bigger, bolder, better. Something that she would always remember him for. He knew exactly what he was going to do.

Olivia walked in the door to find the apartment dark, except a single lit candle in the middle of the kitchen table. She couldn't find the lightswitch for the life of her. "Elliot! What's going on?" No answer. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she saw him.

He was quickly in front of her. "What the fuck Elliot? What game you got goin here?," she asked curiously.

"No games." He was centimeters from her face, and she felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. She heard it in her ears, and she swore that he could hear it, too. The candle lit them up perfectly. He had her backed against the wall.

"Elliot..."

"Liv, I don't know about you, but these last 2 months I was dying without you. I just need you to know that you mean the world to me. We have been best friends for 10 years, and I'll be damned if I'm going to leave tomorrow with the one person that has been there for me through everything pissed at me."

"Go Elliot. Get away from me," she said half heartedly, not believing what she was saying either.

He moved slowly towards her face. "Make me get away Liv." He knew that if she wanted him off she would push him off. She didn't. His lips touched hers, and as much as she wanted to fight and pull away, she stood there, lightly kissing him, until he deepened the kiss, just like the first night. The feelings they were both trying to fight away all came bubbling back to the surface in one huge wave.

"El, we can't..." She tried talking and fighting it but just found herself drowning in the kiss with him.

"Liv, we can. If you want it."

Her mind was telling her no, but her body and heart were telling her yes.

Clothes were shedding fast. He lifted her around his waist and carried her into the bedroom.

One final night together. She was falling fast and falling hard. She coudln't fight it again, not this time. She was going to let it be, and let it happen, because she needed him, for one final night.

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

**So it happened, but what happens at their graduation?**

**thanks for reading! review please ? :)**


	5. Say you'll be there

**Thanks all for reading/reviewing! :) and for adding to your alerts!**

**#$%^&*&^%$**

They woke up the next morning tangled in skin, together. Olivia panicked. She did not mean for everything to happen the way it did, and now he was leaving after their graduation. She saw all of his bags packed, all ready to go, just like that. She had a few bags packed, too. She was headed to the academy today.

"Liv?," Elliot called when he got out of bed. He found Olivia getting ready for their graduation. She put on her gown and cap, not talking to him.

"Liv, I thought everything was okay now..." he said out of nowhere.

She turned around, showing the welts of tears threatening to fall. "Elliot, I can't keep doing this! I can't be that one girlfriend that you had back home. I just...I feel like it's a waste of time for us, hoping that you'll stay instead of leave. I can't have my heart with you. I can't just go back and forth and wonder all the time about you and what you're doing, who you're with, who you're doing. It doesn't make sense for me to wait on someone whose not coming back."

That would be exactly what she would be doing anyways, regardless if they were together or not.

Olivia's mind was finally getting the best of her. Her heart wanted him but she just couldn't get past the thought of him being away, and not being with her.

"Liv, who said anything about me not coming back? I would come back to you. 'Us' was not a waste of time." He tried walking towards her, but she kept backing up.

"Don't try to make it better. This is something that can't be fixed. My heart can't take it anymore. Bye Elliot." She walked out of the apartment, leaving him there to ponder what had just happened. She walked away.

At their graduation, Olivia didn't show one emotion. She was numb. He stared at her the whole time, forgetting they were at their graduation. It was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of their lives. Instead it was one of the most bittersweet days for them. They were finished with high school, but this day brought their separation. They called her name. "Olivia Benson." She got her diploma then left the ceremony. He didn't know where she was going. All he saw was the girl of his dreams getting away.

He had to wait the entire alphabet to get his diploma, which felt like an eternity. When he did get it, he ran after her. He didn't know where, he just ran after her. He went through central park, getting to the fountain where they first kissed, finding her and the picture he had drawn her.

"Liv!," he caught up to her, out of breath. "I am not leaving until I know that we will be okay!," he yelled. "I don't care if we're in a relationship when I get back, I just want my best friend back!" He wanted more, but wasn't going to say that.

She just hugged him, finally letting go. "Elliot, you will always be my best friend. You need to find someone else and so do I. I need to forget what happened between us, and last night we were just confused." She knew it was more than that, but she needed to try to talk herself out of it as much as she could before he left.

What was he supposed to do? He knew she didn't want this right now.  
>"Liv, can I ask you something?"<br>"Yeah, anything."

"Will I be able to find you when I get back?"  
>"Three years from now? That's up to you. New York is a big city," she told him.<p>

Not the answer he was looking for, but it was something. He knew he would find her, as soon as he could. He couldn't wait three years. Every day he was going to think about her, every night she would be with him, no matter what.

They stood there hugging until 2 pm, an hour after he found her. He didn't want to let her go.

"Elliot, why are we still hugging?"  
>"Because. Best Friends hug right?"<br>"Yeah," she chuckled. "But your plane leaves at 3."

He checked his watch. "That leaves us exactly 58 minutes to hug."

"By the time you get there though-"  
>"I don't care."<p>

This hug was becoming unusually uncomfortable for her. She had to stop it. "Elliot, thanks for the hug, but you have to leave. Right now. You will know where to find me when you get back. I have to go to. I'm supposed to be headed to the police academy right now."

"Fine." He backed off of her. "Let's go get our stuff."

This was their last walk together. So many memories on that walk, that path. Olivia shook them out of her head. She had to move on. He had to move on. This wasn't right, they weren't right together.

The bus for him arrived at 2 30, and she watched as he got on it. He gave her one final hug, so badly wanting to kiss her goodbye, but if he did, it would open the floodgates of their feelings that they were trying to bottle up. He knew she didn't want that.

"Bye Stabler." She gave a small smile.

"Bye Liv." His eyes were full of sadness. She ripped her eyes away from his.

He was gone. For three years, he was gone. Three years could be an eternity. They were only friends though. She got on her bus at 3 30 and headed to the police academy. Three years would change so much.

**#$%$&^%&$^$**

**Okay then! i tried mending their feelings but making it obvious they weren't over each other. next, time jump of 3 years! how have these two changed? whats changed in their lives? thanks for reading! review please? :) **


	6. I gotta find you

**Like i said, three year time jump. I will sum up the best i can of what their both doing, it should be pretty obvious though. lol. **

**#$%^%&%&**

"Hey," a voice said. She turned around. It was her boyfriend, Trevor Langan. She smiled, hiding so much behind it. Her smile was hiding what she was really feeling, how much she really wanted to get out, to escape. They were in her apartment, the same apartment she shared with Elliot three years ago. Her and Trevor had been together for 2 months. He only stayed over when he could, when it was convenient, then she wouldn't see him for a few days at a time. For her, it was nothing like a relationship, friends with benefits was more of the term.

Today was the day. It was 3 years ago today that her best friend had left her.  
>"Earth to Olivia," Trevor said, waving a hand in her face. She was remembering.<br>"Oh sorry. Not enough coffee yet," she said, laughing it off. "What?"

"I said I will see you later, okay?"  
>"Yeah, bye." She kissed him, so much wanting it to be his kiss, the one she was remembering. He was gone.<p>

She walked into the precinct, it was her second week on the job. Olivia sat at her new desk. She was a detective now, at Special Victims Unit, her dream job. She knew what it was like to be a victim and wanted to help other women and kids with that drive.

"Mornin babygirl," a familiar voice said. Fin's. He handed her coffee.

"Morning Fin. Thanks," she said behind the smile hiding what she was feeling. He was her partner, just another thing to remember him. The picture he drew her. They were supposed to be cops together. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about him.

Little did she know he was thinking about her, too. Everything he did reminded him of her. He would eat something, and he thought of her. He would see a bracelet and think of her. He had to find her. He was on his flight home and that's all he could think of: finding her.

Her day at work came to an end. She walked home every night, soaking in the sights and sounds of the city, each having their own memory attached to it. She passed by Central Park, along with the fountain. She remembered him every step of the way. She was with somebody else now, but that didn't matter. Everything she did and everyday she was alive still revolved around him.

He arrived at JFK airport at 7 30. He grabbed his bags and ran out of the airport to catch a taxi. He had to find her. He didn't care about the life he had started in the Marines.

The taxi arrived at her apartment. He stood and stared at the building, the window that used to be their apartment. He imagined what she was doing. Then he thought about their huge fight, how much he regretted it, and how much he regretted leaving her behind.

She regretted their fight since it happened. Three years of regret.

He walked into the building. He had a bout of nervousness, he had butterflies. He remembered everything about her, every detail.

She heard a knock on the door, expecting it to be Trevor. She opened the door ready to tell him it wasn't working out. She saw him standing there, thinking it was a figment of her imagination.

He saw her. She was just as beautiful as the day he left. To him she was more beautiful. "Hey Liv," he said calmly.  
>She stood there, in complete shock. Her eyes narrowed, trying to register to her brain that this was real. Then she finally got out a faint, "Elliot?"<p>

"Yes it's me. I found you. You told me to. Wasn't to hard, since you live in the same apartment," he chuckled.

Her face was full of shock, happiness, sadness, all at once. "I don't...How?"  
>He looked the exact same way he did when he left, except more muscular. "It's been three years. I'm done."<p>

She was not expecting this today, or any day soon for that matter. She stood staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. He let her stare for a minute then broke the silence, "I swear it's me. Can I come in? We can talk, catch up."

She still stared. Everything came flooding back at once, like it was yesterday. He snapped his fingers at her.  
>She shook her head "What?," she asked.<br>"I asked if I could come in." He was smiling his classic Stabler grin.

"Uh, yeah, sure." She watched him walk in, looking at him up and down. "Do you want..." she gulped nervously," something to eat or drink?," she finished her question, seeing him already at the fridge.

"Apparently you've forgotten how to grocery shop. You have nothing in your fridge." He grabbed a beer. He sat on the couch, the same couch they had three years ago.

She sat on the opposite end of the couch, avoiding him. If she looked at him, then she was looking at her fond memories of him. His eyes were still holding so much of her.

"Liv, you okay?"  
>"Fine. I just..."<br>"Shocked to see me?," he interrupted.

"Yupp pretty much." She exhaled, not realizing she was holding her breath.

"Trust me I wasn't expecting to be home for another couple of days, but they sent me home."

"Why are you here Elliot?," she asked out of the blue. She was finally able to form a sentence that made sense.  
>"Because I wanted to come see you. You told me I should when I got back, because we are still friends right?"<p>

"Yes," she answered without hesitance.  
>"Then I am visiting my good friend." He smiled. His body was so much broader than before. She couldn't get anything out of her mind.<p>

"Okay. So...how was the Marines?" She had no idea what to ask.

"Good. Except you not being there." He said it on purpose.

She finally snapped a look at him, to see him staring back at her, intent and with desire in his eyes.  
>"How was the police academy?," he asked.<br>She gave a faint smile as she answered. "Good. I met a guy," she said purposefully trying to get him to back off. She couldn't be the same with him as she was before. They agreed. Just friends.

"Oh. That's good. Does he treat you well?"  
>"Yeah." <em>Not as well as you <em>She finished the thought in her mind.

"I'm glad you're happy because I met someone, too. She's in the Marines."  
>"Good. Does she treat you well?," she asked, repeating his question.<p>

"Yes." _God I wish it was you _he thought. "I assume you have a job other than the grocery store now?"

She gave a small smile again. "Yeah. I'm working for the Special Victims Unit, something, as you well know, I've always wanted to do."

"So you really are a cop now, with smaller hands," he chuckled. The picture he had drawn for her.  
>She gave a small laugh in return. He missed that so much. His memory never matched up to hearing her laugh.<p>

"Yes, I have smaller hands," she said, showing him her hands playfully.

They were both avoiding what they still had, what they would always have.

He had to ask her. "What about your mom?"

"Haven't talked to her since the day I moved out," she said with no emotion. "And what about your family?"

"We all know that my dad was happy with what I was doing, and my mom probably didn't care. I haven't said a word to them in three years. I'm okay with that. So, I plan on becoming a cop now that I'm finished with the Marines. I can go straight from the corps to only a couple weeks of training, since I was trained by the Marines. The training will mainly be guns, and how to handle any situation."

"That's good. So now we can fight bad guys like in your picture?," she said sarcastically.  
>"Exactly. The bracelet should have said Best Friend Cops." He smiled, earning her famous Benson smile.<p>

"Do you know which department you want to work for?"

"No, not yet. There's time for that though." He knew where he wanted to go now. He wasn't going to tell her that.

"True." She didn't know what else to say. She had run out of ideas to talk about without going into the past. She knew that she was going into dangerous territory.

"Liv, can I ask you something?" He was still looking at her.  
>"Yeah. Is it something weird?," she asked, knowing it fully well might be.<p>

"This might sound weird. Can I have a hug?," he looked desparately at her.  
>"A hug?," she repeated his question, caught off guard. She gave him her answer though. "Yes.." she said, questioning whether or not to give him one.<br>He scooted over on the couch until he was close enough to her. He looked at her. God those eyes. She swore they were looking straight into her heart and could see what she was feeling.

They hugged, and everything was coming back. The memories, the feelings, the emotions, the moments they spent together. This time was different. They felt like everything was coming together again, but she couldn't do it. She had him back, but knew she had to let him go. There was a minute of hugging before she finally pushed him off.

"Elliot, I think you should leave now. My boyfriend is coming over, and you have someone to go home to," she lied about Trevor, but knew he had someone now.

"Is that what's bothering you, or is it something else?" He walked towards her, just like before.  
>"You have someone and so do I." She kept backing up. This wasn't going to happen again. Her heart couldn't go through it again. "Leave," she demanded.<p>

"Make me leave," he whispered.

Oh no. This wasn't happeneing. He kept coming towards her, just like their final night. She had to stop it this time. Things were different.

She froze for a second then got a grip. She ran over to the door and opened it before he got any closer. "Leave. We can talk some other time."

He didn't know what to say. How could he go home? This should be his home. Home is where the heart is, and his heart was always there. It never left, and it never would.

She was serious, but knew she had to be this time around.

"Bye Liv."  
>"Bye Elliot." She used his full name on purpose. His nickname meant she still cared deeply. It was something they used before they were together, but if she used the nickname then it meant her walls were down.<p>

She watched him leave, as if he were walking out of her life again.

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

**So their reunion couldn't just be makup sex! lol well it could have been but that really would have been the end of the story...and i dont think you want that ;)**

**thanks for reading. reviews are appreciated! thanks to ppl adding me to their alerts :)**


	7. Breakthrough

**Time jump. go figure lol. 2 weeks. The previous chap was Elliot leaving for the police academy, so that means he is done now. i know thats fake for how he got in or whatever and how fast but it fits in with the story.  
>thanks to everyone adding me to alerts :) i appreciate it! <strong>

**#$%^&*(*&^%**

She couldn't concentrate, not since the night he got back. Trevor and her were technically still "together" but not like it should be. It was sex, but every night it happened she dreamt of him, and being with him. Trevor caught her mumbling his name when she was asleep and had no idea what it meant. She brushed it off and said he was a childhood friend.

He was with Kathy now, but he still thought of her. Elliot had to talk to her again, just one time. It's not like he was happy with who he was with, he was settling, and Olivia was doing the same thing. He knew it. He had to find a way to get her to trust him again. He had to take down those walls she had built around herself after everything happened between them. He knew it was his fault. He had to fix it.

She came home from work at midnight to find a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the table, the same ones she had when Elliot would give them to her. The card read "Forgive me" and she about died. Then she saw on the card "P.S. maybe you should have a different hiding spot for the spare." She smiled.

She kind of had forgiven him in her own way. Not enough to go back to how everything was before, but she had forgiven him enough to start talking to him.

She was restless that night, every night she was. On top of the job this was overwhelming. She would give anything to have his arms around her. She would give anything to feel him again. She would give anything to have him back and go back to the way everything was, before he left.

The next day Olivia got up at 4 30 because she still wasn't asleep. She headed to work as normal. She walked into the precinct early.  
>"Olivia what are you doing here so early?," Cragen asked, just arriving there himself.<br>"Couldn't sleep." It was the truth.  
>"Is everything okay?"<p>

_No but I have to act like it is._

"Yeah. It's just I've had a lot on my mind, and it's just me being stupid," she rolled her eyes as she smiled.

"The job?"

"Partly, but it's okay. I promise." She smiled again, trying to make him believe her.

Cragen was worried. She hadn't been the same cop she had been when he hired her. If it was the job, then she could have some psychological trouble getting through it. This job was not for the faint of heart.

That morning, Cragen called Elliot Stabler. "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you've been approved for the job. You can start today. I have a partner in line for you. See you in a while." Elliot hadn't said a word to him about knowing Olivia, for a reason.

She was doing her paperwork and he saw her. He carefully walked past and straight to Cragen's office. She looked up and saw the back of his head. She shook it off as a lack of sleep.

"Elliot, if you look out there, your new partner is her. Olivia Benson, she is one of the best, and she can teach you what you need to know, not that there's to much that you don't already know. Mainly working with live victims, that's the hardest part," Cragen told him.

Elliot could have stared at her forever, but quickly turned when Cragen started talking again.  
>"Here's your badge and gun, and welcome. Your new desk should be empty. If not, then it's from her other partner. Let me know if you have any questions."<p>

"Thanks Captain." He grabbed his new badge and gun, and he walked to her desk. She still hadn't looked up from the paperwork.

"Concentrate Liv," he said.

She heard his voice and froze. She looked up. "What the fuck are you doing here?," she said in a harsh whisper.  
>"I work here, and I'm your new partner." He grinned.<p>

"What the hell? I'm askin Cragen for my old partner back." She was about to get up when Cragen walked out.  
>"I see you two have met? Olivia, I was hoping you wouldn't have a problem with having a new partner."<p>

She didn't know what to say. She felt like fainting. "No Cap, everything's fine."

"Good." He walked back to his office.

"Wow Liv, talk about self control."  
>"Shutup," she snapped. "First thing's first, paperwork." She handed him a mountain to help her with.<p>

"Cragen wanted us to go talk to a vic from a case."  
>"Not right now. We can have Fin and Munch go. Paperwork first." She was pissed. He was coming at her at the worst times. As much as she wanted him back, she realized she couldn't get him back now because they worked together.<p>

"What's wrong?," Elliot asked sympathetically.  
>"Nothing."<p>

"Tell me, we're partners now, gonna have to trust me eventually."

"Elliot. What are you doing?" She looked up from her paper, with an annoyed look.

"Talking to my partner," he said, acting stupid.

"You know what I mean. What are you doing here? Don't give me a shitty answer like you're my new partner or whatever, why are you here?" She truly wanted an answer.

"Honestly, if I told you I would sound crazy."

"You always sound crazy," she quipped.

"Fine. I needed a way for me to be around you all the time and you can't run away from me. I figured what better way than working with you." He just smiled.

"Now why would I run away from you?," she asked sarcastically. "And if you keep following me everywhere, I will file a restraining order for you to quit stalking me." She raised her eyebrows with a tiny smile.

"I would like to see you try, seeing that I'm your partner and all."

"Just work Stabler," she said, referring to the pile of paperwork.

"We will be talking later, just so you know."

"And you can't force me to do that. I can just plead the fifth," she said while writing.

Finally he was getting somewhere. He had accomplished getting her to talk to him after being pissed at him within a matter of minutes. What could he do with days?

**#$%^&*^%$#**

**As much as Olivia says she wants him, she's still guarded. I also tried incoorporating her kind of accepting him as her new partner. But what happens with their significant others? hmmm... **

**thanks for reading! reviews are appreciated as always :) **


	8. Fighting it

**And so here we go :) Elliot's on the road to getting her back. easy enough ;) **

**#$%^&*&^%**

Elliot had let Olivia show him what he needed to know, without crossing any lines. They were at work, so he had to keep it in check. He did get to stare at her ass occasionally.

"Quit staring at it Stabler," she said inconspicuously on their way to the filing room.

"Sorry. I can't help it." He just grinned.

"Sure. So this is the glorious filing room. It takes hours to find what you need if you don't know what your doing," she told him.

"I've found everything I need," he said as he looked at her body.

"Is that the best you've got?," she replied as she turned around.

"I was talking about the file," he said holding up the file he needed.

She just rolled her eyes.

Their day was normal, mainly getting Elliot used to everything when he wasn't staring at her. It took everything not to just stare into his eyes, or stare at anything else for that matter.

"Liv, do you want a ride home?"

"No I can walk," she said without a second thought.

"It's dangerous."

"I'm a cop," she said blatantly.

"Doesn't mean something can't happen to you."

"Means the likelyhood is less." She started putting on her coat.

"Do I have to force you to cooperate?," he asked going towards her.

"Why the fuck do you keep doing that?," she said avoiding his eyes.

"Doing what?," he said playing stupid again that day.

"Walking towards me like it's threatening or something." She scoffed, finally being able to tell him off effectively.

"Does it bother you?" He knew it did, and that's why he kept doing it.

"We're at work," she spat harshly.

"Once we're out those doors we aren't. And besides, no one is here. It's 8 o'clock. Let me drive you home. That's all I'm asking."

"What's next your gonna take me out to dinner?," she scoffed as she was walking towards the elevator.  
>"Maybe. What's so bad about that? Or I could cook for you." He was hoping to break her down a little, just make her remember everything. She was, and she was fighting harder than ever to keep her emotions in check.<p>

Then she had the elevator ride down with him.  
>"Liv. You're getting in that car with me. I'm going to drive you home. There is no harm in that."<p>

"But then I have to listen to your ass all the way home," she chuckled. "Not my idea of a Friday night."

"You expecting that boyfriend of yours?," he asked intuitively.

"I haven't talked to him, but I could. Gives me something to do."

"Literally," he cut her off, giving her one of his many Stabler sarcasm looks.

"Haha, very funny. Aren't you supposed to be with that girlfriend of yours anways?," she asked, returning the question.

"Yeah, she's great," he said intentionally trying to make Olivia jealous.  
>"Glad she makes you happy." Olivia felt sick. If he was truly happy then she had to get over him now.<p>

She started walking out.  
>"Liv, just get in the car."<br>"No." She continued walking away from him. He wasn't going to let her walk home. He ran over and picked her up like he used to, and there was no way to fight him. He was stronger and had her off the ground.

"EL! Put me down!," she yelled.

El, she said it. After 3 years he heard it, finally.

"I will when you're in the car." He got to his parking spot and set her on her feet in front of an opened car door.

"Fine." She climbed in, despite all of her protesting against it. There was no point in running away because he would easily catch her.

"So you're glad I'm happy?," he asked, knowing that she was telling him lies.

"Yes. You're my friend, and you're in a relationship, so I'm happy for you," she explained, clearly not happy for him.

"Come on, don't give me that bullshit. You've been avoiding looking at me all day. Just admit it, you're not over me."

"Exactly why I didn't want to come on a car ride with you. You haven't shutup!" She held her head, trying to block him out. Impossible when he wouldn't take the hint to be quiet.

"No you didn't wanna ride with me because you still love me." He continued to prod and push buttons, and it was clearly working.

She just looked up quickly at him to find him smirking. That was the last thing she was going to admit to him.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Are you high? If I were still in love with you I would still be crying over you. Do you see tears?" She pointed to her face. The thing she didn't tell him was that she was still crying over him. She still missed him, every night. She stayed up at night because of him.

"I don't see tears but I see your face, your eyes. Remember I can still read you?"

"Oh that's a bunch of bull Elliot. Just get me home please and shutup. I've got a bunch of these cases to read over. I'm getting a headache, just drive and don't say another word."

"I can say another word all I want because you're stuck in the car with me. I could drive you all over the city if I wanted." He just smiled, knowing he was getting in her head.

She hated this already. How the hell was she going to work with the most annoying person she knew? The person that knew how to get to her? The person that was getting to her? How was she supposed to work with the man she was still in love with? She couldn't avoid her feelings forever, but she could try.

Finally, after chatting her ear off for what seemed like an eternity they were at her apartment.  
>"Bye, Liv. I'll be here at 6 am to pick you up."<p>

"No you won't. I'm walking," she said attempting to argue against it.

"No, you're not. See you in the morning." She was stubborn, he would give her that.

She slammed the car door and he pulled away. She went up to her apartment, remembering. The day they bought the apartment, her 18th birthday. That night she lost her virginity to the man she loved most, then he left her. She shook the thoughts out as she walked into her apartment, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall, finding Trevor sitting on the couch.

"Hey, not to sound mean but-" he cut her off.  
>"You have a boyfriend?," he asked calmly.<p>

"No, that was my work partner, and since when are you here without telling me first?" She didn't like his tone he was using.

"Since I am your boyfriend, I wouldn't appreciate it if you were stepping out on me." He came at her. Before she could react he was kissing her violently. She tried to push away but he wouldn't let up.

"Tremmpph," she tried talking but it was mumbled by him pressed against her. He started undoing her pants as she tried to fight him off. He had her against the wall. Finally she kneed him in the groin, making him curl over in immediate pain.

"What the fuck was that for?," he whined while holding his manhood.  
>"For not taking a hint. We're over. Get out, never come back. If you do I will arrest you. Then if that doesn't tickle your fancy I'll just have to book you for breaking and entering," she threatened.<p>

"Not breaking in if I have the key," he retorted, still hunched over.

"It is if I tell you to give the key back. Leave," she said opening the door for him.

He limped his way out in agony. He deserved it.

She sighed heavily as she locked the door as he walked out. She sat on the couch, trying to recollect everything that just happened. What if she hadn't fought him off? She shuddered as she pushed the thoughts out, only to have Elliot flood her mind.

He would have never done that to her. Even if the last night he was with her he came at her unexpectedly, she wanted it, she always wanted him. No matter how much she fought, he always had a hold on her.

**#$%^&*&^%$# **  
><strong>This chapter I went for a lot more dialogue, if not obvious. Why is she still fighting him! One relationship down, one to go. What happens when Kathy is brought into all of this? what happens as work progresses and they have to work with each other? so much more to come! <strong>  
><strong>thanks for reading! reviews are greatly appreciated :)<strong>


	9. Confessions

**Well, i am still very glad everyone enjoys the story lol.  
>trevor is out of the picture but we still have that wall of kathy to get thru... drama! in the next chapter or two. this one has a lot of drama already. haha.<br>also, this scene contains graphic description of the sexual abuse of a child. i'll admit it was hard for me to even write it...dont like, dont read. **

**#$%^&*&^%$**

Once again Olivia was running on little to no sleep. She was wondering how she was still standing. She drank as much coffee as she could without getting sick and it still wasn't helping.

Walking out of her apartment she saw him, in the car. It was 6 am. He wasn't joking.

She walked over to the car, refusing to get in.  
>"Liv, don't make me get out of the car and put you in here."<p>

"I'm not gonna make you do anything, but I'm going to walk away from the car and walk to work," she quipped with an annoyed tone.

"No you're not, get in."

"Watch me." She smirked as she walked away slowly and headed down the block. He wasn't going to let her get away so easily. He got out of the car and caught up to her quickly when she tried running. He twisted her arms behind her back into a police hold so she couldn't run. She fought but it was impossible to get away.

He got her back to the car fairly easily.

"Goddammit Elliot! Where the hell do you get off doing something like that?" She was beyond pissed he did that again.

"I haven't gotten off on it at all. It is fun watching you try to struggle against me though." He held in a laugh.

"I'm sure, that's all you ever think about. What does that girlfriend of yours think about you doing all this flirting with your partner?" Olivia thought she would guilt him into quit saying obnoxious things. It didn't work.

"Well, let's see, my girlfriend don't really care. What she doesn't know won't kill her. Plus, I have a hot partner."

"Elliot, why are you still talking like that? We aren't together, and friends definitely don't talk like that to one another," she said quite seriously.

"Liv, we're still best friends, but we were more than that once."

"Shut up and drive." She felt her heart rate increase with every word he spoke. His voice was having an effect on every nerve in her body.

"Why? I like talking. And talking to you is a bonus," he said as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Elliot! Shut up!," she yelled.

"Or what?" He egged her on on purpose. It was fun to him seeing her get worked up over nothing.

She just blasted the radio as loud as it would go and sat there, like a pissed off teenager would.

He turned it down. "Why would you do that Liv?," he asked innocently.

"Because you're annoying the shit out of me, that's why."

She jumped out of the car the first chance she got at the precinct.

Cragen stopped them as soon as they got into the building. "There's a rape victim at Mercy General. I want you and Elliot on it. Her name is Ashley Lopez. 14 years old. Go."

They headed back into the elevator. This meant Olivia had 30 minutes of Elliot in the car. She couldn't have been any less thrilled then she was right at that moment.

She stayed as silent as she could while he tried pushing her buttons. He brought up everything they had in their relationship before things turned sour. Memories. She did everything she could to keep it in check. She dug her hands into her thighs, she balled her fists, she literally tried biting her tongue. None of it worked.

Finally she exploded.

She leaned out of the slump she was in, rising out of her seat. "FINE! I STILL LOVE YOU! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?" She gasped. What had she done? She couldn't take it back. She couldn't take back anything she said. She just felt like curling up into a ball and crying forever. She just admitted what she had been trying to avoid. All the feelings she had pushed beneath the surface for so long finally free.

"Actually, yes, glad you finally admitted it." He grinned at her.

Her heart was racing, her breathing was heavy, she felt like she was going to have a heart attack from embarrasment. She was mortified. Her face said it all.

The hospital couldn't come soon enough.

"I get to do all the talking, rookie," she said snidely as they walked up to the receptionist.

"It is something your good at." She just glared at him. She was pissed at everything he had done to her. He had thrown her life into a turmoil and that turmoil and drama was never ending.

"Hi, I'm Detective Benson and this is Detective Stabler." They flashed their badges. "We're from Special Victims. There was a call about a rape? Ashley Lopez?"

"Oh yes, poor thing. She's in room 312, right over there," she pointed to the direction of the room.

"Thanks," Olivia said as they walked to the room. For now she had to push away everything that had just happened with Elliot. She had a job to do, she was going to do it, regardless of her fucked up love life.

They saw Ashley laying in the bed, turned towards the wall,crying. Her mom was in the room.  
>"Mrs. Lopez? I'm Detective Benson with the Special Victims Unit, and this is Detective Stabler. We're here to talk with Ashley about what happened to her. Is there any way we can talk to her alone?"<p>

The mother was distraught and shaking. She was crying. "Uhm, why do I have to leave?"

"It'll only be a few minutes, it's so she can talk more openly," Olivia told her softly.

"Please...take care of her..." She mangaged to get out through the sobs.

"We will," Olivia whispered as the mother walked slowly out of the room.

Elliot stayed against the door so he wouldn't scare the girl. He watched the patience Olivia had with victims. She was meant for this job.

Ashley was turned towards the window, she didn't move or make a sound besides crying. She looked so tiny, so fraille, so broken.

"Ashley? I'm Olivia. I'm going to talk to you about what happened. If at any time you want to stop just tell me, okay?"

She heard tiny sobs, then heard the girl's faint voice. "He did bad things to me..."

"Who did?"

"My...stepfather." She started crying again.

"What's his name Ashley?" They needed the name so they could get the right guy, and make sure Ashley could make a positive ID.

"Paco...Paco Gonzales."

"When did he do these things to you?"

"He did it, when I turned 13. He always does it."

"What did he do?"

"He...came into my room. He would...take his pants off, and take my pants off. Then he would touch me, and...he would...make me touch him, down there. Then he hurt me. Alot."

"How did he hurt you Ashley?" Olivia talked softly, touching Ashley's arm slightly to comfort her. Ashley's body jolted at the contact.

"He put it inside me..." She grabbed her teddy bear and held it tighter as she cried. "I didn't want him to."

Elliot wasn't feeling the greatest, it was his first case, and he was having anger towards the man who did this to her. He watched as Olivia comforted and worked with Ashley.

"We know you didn't want him to. You did great Ashley. We'll be back in a bit."

She got up and exhaled silently. Never would this job get any easier.

Elliot stayed silent as they walked out of the room.

"Mrs. Lopez, we're done with questions for now. How did you know your daughter had been raped?," Olivia asked.

"We didn't know until she had an injury on her bike. She said she hurt down there. We brought her here, and they told me...She didn't admit it until I asked her."

"Did she tell you who did it?"

"No."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. This was going to be a shock to the woman and they knew it.

"Mrs. Lopez...Ashley said that her stepfather has been doing it, Paco."

The woman looked at them and was angry now. "How dare you? How dare you say that about my husband. He would never do anything to Ashley. He loves her."

"I know this is hard to hear...But she just told me that he was the one doing it. It's been going on for a year now."

"I don't care what she told you! It's all lies!," she was in denial.

"Mrs. Lopez, how often is he alone with her?"

She thought about it, then came to the realization it may have been her husband abusing her angel. "He's...alone with her at least 4 times a week, when I have to work. He's been doing this to my baby? How did I miss this!" She was pacing and in a fit now.

"Where is your husband now?," Elliot asked hurriedly.

"He should be working. I called him and told him where we were and he hasn't shown up yet."

"Did you tell him what the doctors told you?"

"Yes."

Elliot and Olivia shared another look. "How long ago?"

"About an hour ago. Why?"

"We'll be back later," Olivia said as they ran down to their car. They had to get back to the precinct as soon as they could and get this guys financials. He was going to try to run.

Elliot got on the phone with Munch. "Hey, we need you to look up bank accounts and financial history for a Paco Gonzales. We need any recent transactions. We're headed back there now. Thanks. Munch is on it. Hopefully by the time we get back they have something." Elliot had the siren on and flew through the city to get back to the precinct.

They had a child molestor potentially on the run, and if he got out of the country he may be able to evade police and disappear to hurt other children.

**$%&^%$##**

**Like I said, drama lol. So, do they catch him! **  
><strong>I figured I would just have Olivia question the victim, because its been brought up in eps that Elliot scared female vics. Also, he is kind of the rookie so he wouldn't be questioning right off the bat. The inspiration for how they discovered the rape came from the episode where the little girl gets hurt on her bike, and her family is in a car accident, called contagious. <strong>**thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated :)**


	10. Tension

**So back to the story! do they catch the guy? what happens now that olivia has admitted what she was pushing out of her mind for so long? this leaves off exactly where the last chap left off. **

**thank you to the new ppl adding me to their alerts! :) i appreciate it!**

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

Olivia and Elliot ran into the precinct to find Munch and Fin furiously looking for most recent purchases.

"Got it!" Munch said. "One plane ticket to Mexico City set for today at 2 pm, JFK airport."

"Let's go," Elliot said as they ran back out with a printed photo of what he looked like. He had a record under his real name, Jose Hutchens, for abusing another child and domestic violence.

It was noon already. JFK was at least an hour ride from the precinct, even in the best conditions with traffic.

Olivia felt like everything was going slow motion. She studied the photo of the monster they were hunting down. She wanted to know him when she saw him.

They arrived at JFK at 1: 20, giving them hardly any time to scour the airport for this one guy. It was made more difficult to the fact that the place was packed.

"Liv, I'll take the north end!," Elliot said as he ran off. She instantly ran to the counter flashing her badge to get through the array of people.

"Have you seen him?," she said frantically holding his picture to the clerks behind the counter.

They all shook their heads no. She knew what she had to do. She went to the terminal that was meant for Mexico. She scanned the people as she was moving.

Then she saw something. It was him, sitting, waiting for his flight to be called. He had shaved his head and face, but it was him. He had a huge scar on his face that was giving him away. She slowly walked towards him, then she saw Elliot doing the same thing. They spoke to each other without words.

Elliot walked up on one side, and stood still as Olivia kept moving. Paco looked up just as Olivia was walking towards him. He ran for it, right past Olivia, and when she tried grabbing him he elbowed her, causing her to fall over. Elliot was on it.

"LIV!" He was stopping to help her.

"I'm fine! GO!" She had the wind knocked out of her but she was fine. She slowly got up and ran after him, slower than normal.

Then Elliot saw what he was doing. Paco had grabbed a woman and baby, pointing a gun at her head, in the middle of the airport. Everyone cleared out from around them screaming.

"Paco! Let her go!" Elliot had his gun drawn and pointed. Olivia still hadn't caught up. But then she saw the people running, and heard them screaming. She went on the farthest end she could be and started walking towards where they were.

"I won't let her go! I could shoot her and her kid!"

"Don't do it!"

Olivia ended up behind Paco, with enough distance as to not give her away. Her and Elliot made eye contact again.

"Paco! Look! I'm putting my gun down, just let them go and you can get out of here, I won't come after you, just let them go!" Elliot put his gun down slowly on the ground.

"Yeah right! Pigs are always after me! I don't believe you!"

Elliot was trying to calm the guy down so they could all get out of there.

Olivia had to do something. She walked up closer, within about 10 feet of him and his hostages. She heard them talking, but wasn't listening to what they were saying. By this time the security of the airport were surrounding above, and no one had a clear shot because of the woman he had.

Finally Paco let the woman and baby go, only to point the gun at Elliot.

"I'm tired of you guys!" Paco yelled.

Olivia took her shot, she hit him square in the right shoulder, immobilizing his arm and making him fall to the ground in pain. They both ran over and grabbed him.

Olivia read him his rights, relieved that everyone was okay. The woman was shaken up but okay, and her baby was crying but he was okay, too. Elliot was more than okay, giving this guy no mercy as they walked out to the ambulance, holding his right arm firmly, causing Paco to complain of the pain.

On top of everything, the nightmare was over, and the only one hurt was Paco. They handed him off to the ambulance personnel. There was a cop that had to ride with them to ensure no one else got hurt.

Elliot and Olivia headed back to the precinct.

"You did good today Liv," Elliot said in a soothing voice.  
>"Not to bad yourself," she said, realizing that day could have ended so much differently. Paco could have shot someone, and he could have killed Elliot before Olivia got off her shot. "Oh, Cragen is going to want us to go see the shrink when we get back. I already know that," she stated.<p>

Elliot saw her face, and could see the fear, the anger, the numb. She was shaken up.

She rarely had to shoot her gun on duty, and today she almost lost Elliot. They barely spoke a word on their way back to the precinct.

"Liv, Elliot, I need one of you now to go see the shrink. You two decide amongst yourselves who goes first. Olivia, I need your weapon to get it into evidence to corroborate your statements. Great job today guys." Cragen said, as he walked back into his office.

"Liv, do you want me to go?," Elliot asked quietly.

"No. I'll go. It's fine. I just wanna get this overwith." She walked towards the elevator.

Olivia arrived at Dr. George Huang's office. He was sitting looking over files of his own.  
>"Olivia, glad you could come in. Please, sit," he said pointing to the chairs in front of his desk.<p>

She walked reluctantly over to the chair to sit. She felt the tears filling up in her eyes.  
>"Let me remind you that no matter what you say to me I cannot repeat to anyone. Can we talk about what's been going on in your life? What's new?"<p>

"Well, let's start with my fucked up love life," she said sarcastically.

"Is there someone new in your life?," he asked, wondering what she meant.

"No. It's someone that used to be in my life, and is now back. He's trying to get me back. He's got a girlfriend though. I just broke things off with my boyfriend because we were just fuck buddies. Lovely, right?" She rattled things off one at a time.

Huang just sat there, trying to absorb what she was saying. "Olivia, how does that feel to have an ex back in your life?"

"It sucks! I was trying to get over him. We broke up 3 years ago. I had just graduated high school and he left!" She let a few tears fall as she was talking.

"Do you feel he abandoned you? Like your mother abandoned you?," he asked, knowing that was the reason behind some of the resentment she had towards this guy.

She just looked at him, not believing he was bringing her mother into this, but then realized she felt abandoned by so many people. "I guess I do."

"Do you still like this guy?"

Like? Olivia loved this guy. He was amazing. Everything about him was perfect. She smiled thinking about him, but still crying at the memories. "Yes."

"And would you say you love him even more now?"

She sighed heavily as she answered. "Yes."

"Do you feel like it's affected your work lately? Thinking about him?" He asked because Cragen wanted her to see him anyways, he just didn't know what was bothering her. Huang put it together.

"It didn't seem to bother me, I didn't think." She thought about it, then realized how distracted she had been at work the last couple of weeks. "Maybe a little. But I'm getting over it."

"Okay, that's good, that you're still trying to get over it. First you have to realize what's holding you back. Can we talk about what happened today?" That was the original reason Olivia was there.

"Which part?," she scoffed as she asked.

"How about when you had to make a decision? To shoot him? What was going through your mind?"

Olivia went back to that feeling she had during the stand off. "Well, he had two hostages, and Elliot had put down his gun. I knew what he was trying to do. Then Paco let the two hostages go, and I had that choice to make. If I didn't shoot he was going to shoot Elliot. So, I shot."

"Did you have any other thoughts? What about where you shot him?"

Olivia had sat there for a moment, pondering what she actually thought when she shot her gone. "I...I thought about killing him, just ending it right there."

"Why is that?"

"Because...Ashley needs justice. But then I thought how much better it would be for him to sit in a jail cell."

"You made the right choice Olivia, and you did what you had to do to save your partner and the two people. He was going to shoot if you didn't. You won't get over shooting him but I want you to know that you made the right choice," he comforted her.

Olivia sat there, just listening to what he was saying. "You're right. I had to shoot. Is that all? Can I go?," she asked eagerly.

"Yes, that's all if you want it to be."

She got up and walked out. "Thanks," she said as she walked out.  
>"My door is always open."<p>

She felt relieved as she walked out. Now she knew what she had to face, the thing she was avoiding for 3 years: her feelings. She had to face him, she was ready to say what she needed to say to him, if he would still let her.

**#$%$%^&*(*&^%**

**I promise next chap will have more drama! lol. **

**thanks for reading! review? :) **


	11. Denial

**i am skipping right over elliots check with huang cuz what needed to be said was said thru olivia. one serving of kathy coming up! ;)**

**#$%^&*^%$#**

"Liv, are you okay," he asked when he got back from talking with Huang. He noticed she was zoned out again.

"Yeah, just thinking." It was the truth. She was thinking.

"About what?"

"My thoughts aren't going to be public, El," she laughed. "How did it go with Huang?"

"Good. Didn't think my first real day would be so crazy," he said.

"There's been crazier days," she smiled a bit.

"Elliot, Olivia, go home. You're done for the day," Cragen said. It was 6 30. He wasn't going to keep them there after the day they had. He just wanted to make sure they both got in to see Huang.

"Not arguing," Olivia said. She started getting all of her things together.

"Do you wanna go get something to eat Liv?" He was hoping she would say yes, but doubted that she would even consider it.

Now she had to make another choice. Her brain was tired of choices. She had to take this chance with him though.  
>"Sure. I assume you want to drive?," she asked completely serious.<p>

He was shocked. She said yes. "Uhm, yeah. What do you want?"

"Oooh. You decide."

"How about I wait to tell you?" He walked with her to the elevator.

"Okay?," she said with question.

They drove a short while until they landed at a restaurant.

"Wow, how did I know no matter what you would have gone for Chinese? It is your favorite," she said as they got out of the car.  
>He chuckled. "I didn't think you would say yes."<p>

"Well I have given you reasons to believe that I wouldn't. But I want a fresh start." She smiled.

They enjoyed their meal with each other's company. Everything was slowly returning to the way she remembered before he left, and seeing new sides to him that she hadn't seen. They had both grown as people. They weren't kids anymore.

The meal was interrupted with his phone ringing.

"Ah the joys of the job. Stabler. Kathy? Why- What? I'm eating a meal with my new work partner. Yes she's a female. No I'm not cheating on you. I'm not coming home tonight. I just got a call for a case. Gotta go." He hung up on her. He didn't want to deal with his girlfriend at the moment when he was enjoying a meal he had been meaning to make up for 3 years with the girl he still loved.

"Why'd you hang up on her? She obviously wants you home," Olivia asked, remembering he had a girlfriend. Then she felt like she had made a mistake going with Elliot.

"I hung up because she is grilling me on if I'm cheating on her. And I'm not."

"I should probably get going. It's 8 already and we have a big day tomorrow. I'm not gonna sleep anyways, but I can try." She felt her walls coming back up after feeling them come down for a short time.

"Liv, don't go because of her calling me. I wanted to hang out with you tonight, like old times. We can go to the movies or something. Come on, please?"

"Elliot, we can't," she said, the same words she said to him the night they kissed.

"Can't or won't?," he asked, wondering what was really going on.  
>"Both." She started walking out. He ran over to her, determined not to let her walk out on him like that. He grabbed her hand, and she was pulling away half heartedly. He turned her around.<p>

She felt every emotion she ever felt with him flooding back. She felt the tears starting to form, she blinked them away. If he saw that weakness he would know. He would know that she still cared. She couldn't do it right now.

"Liv..." She tried her hardest to avoid his eyes as their faces were closer together and their bodies were centimeters apart.

"I know. I have to go though." She tried tugging away again, with very little effort.

"No you don't. Besides you heard me tell Kathy that I wasn't going home. Where am I going to stay?," he asked, hoping she would say the apartment.

"I don't know, you shoulda thought about that before saying it. Elliot, please let me go," she said desperately.

"No. Not until you agree to come with me. I want to show you the best night of your life, as friends." He smiled.

"But then it will turn into something else that we don't need to happen. I don't want that to happen." She did want it to happen, and obviously he did, too. He was willing to respect her wishes though.

"Fine, Liv. Let's go."

She reluctantly went with him, and they went on like they were kids again, doing everything they could in one night. They went to the movies, to the arcade, and to their favorite spot, Central Park.

"Elliot, what are we doing here?" She didn't want to be there, she hadn't been there in months. She didn't want to be engulfed in the memories. She tried to stop them from walking through the park. It was midnight, they had a fun night.

She wanted to be anywhere but there.

She shuddered getting a bit cold. He wrapped around her like he used to do. She tried getting her to unwrap his arms from around her, no matter how cold she was.

"El, stop." She said it. 'El,' meaning she was 100 percent serious. He knew she was fighting it.

"No, Liv. I want to be here. Right here, with you." He kept her moving until they arrived at the fountain. The fountain where they first kissed, the fountain he kissed her at before he left her.

"El..." She could see his face underneath the lighting. He grabbed her hands so he was facing her again. She started tearing up again. He wasn't doing this. Not now.

"Liv. I still love you, and you told me today that you still love me, meaning I was right. It also means that this isn't wrong, that I'm not chasing after nothing. Don't ignore this, what we have." He kissed her hands.

"El, we can't...I can't, not right now." She was starting to cry.

"Why do you always say that? We can, and we will. What we have, right now, is greater than any other force in the world. I will never leave you again. I promise."

He leaned closer, their bodies pushing together, their lips just barely touching. Olivia didn't fight it anymore, she didn't have the strength to. She didn't want it to end. Their kiss grew deeper, her tears still falling. He kissed all of her fears away, all of her doubts. Their kiss had more fire than ever before, and neither wanted it to end.

They pulled away for a second. "Let's go home Liv." He wrapped around her as they headed back to the car, together. And that's where they would stay.

She didn't think about anything else in that moment, just him, what they would always have.

There was someone who didn't want them to have what they had though, and she was going to do anything to split them up for good.

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

**Dun dun dun! together at last, but with a price. what happens? **

**thanks for reading, and reviews are greatly appreciated! :) **


	12. Crazy

**they kissed, lol. meaning their together? so no rhonda they havent done the nasty yet! haha maybe. someone aint to happy about it tho. ;) **

**!#$%^&*&^%$**

Elliot and Olivia headed back to the apartment, when they got there they noticed something wasn't quite right, but they disregarded it as they kissed all the way up on the elevator ride. There was a fire that was burning within both of them. Three years of feelings and emotions lost, and tonight they were going to make up for lost time.

Olivia fumbled around with the key to get into her apartment. Her and Elliot never stopped kissing. They opened the door, something caught her eye when she was watching where she was walking.

"So you're not cheating on me?," a woman said sarcastically.

They instantly stopped what they were doing, seeing Kathy standing there looking at them.

"Kathy, what are you doing? How did you find out where she lived?"

"I followed you here two weeks ago, before you went to the academy. And now you're gonna pay for it." She pulled out a gun, pointing it at both of them. "You really need to find a new hiding spot for that spare key of yours Olivia."

"What is it with us and guns today?," he asked Olivia. "Kathy, listen, you don't have to use that on either one of us. You know what will happen, don't you? If you shoot us you go to jail, you don't want that, so just put the gun down. For me?"

She considered it, then brought it back up. "NO! This little slut isn't getting off that easy and neither are you. How long has this been going on?"

How were they going to answer her? It's been within them since they were kids. "It happened tonight. We really are work partners Kathy...We've known each other a while though." It was honest but also didn't give all the in between details. It would have enraged her even more so than she was now.

"Don't lie to me! You came here that night! And you just got a new job, so she's just now your work parter, if that's what she really is!" Kathy was yelling and crying.

"Kathy, listen to me, we've been done for a while. We barely see each other, and when we do, we fight. I will always love you though," he lied.

"NO! If I can't have you, no one can!" She shot the gun, hitting Elliot in the left shoulder, instantly causing him to fall to the floor.

"EL! NO!" Olivia started to run towards him.  
>"DON'T MOVE!" Kathy yelled. Olivia returned to her standing position, now sobbing while Elliot lay there, bleeding, hurt. She just got him back, she couldn't lose him. Not now. Not after everything.<p>

"Please, Kathy, we have to get him help. He's going to die, and then you go to jail. Right now, you can still get out of this..." she was crying just praying this nightmare would end.

"SHUTUP!" Kathy was still pointing the gun at Olivia. Olivia had her hands up in defense, not much comfort though.

Olivia closed her eyes, waiting for it to happen. Then she heard it. She heard the gun cock and a bang, but felt no pain. She opened her eyes to see Kathy on the floor, her lifeless body with a clean wound to her head.

Olivia jumped into action, instantly getting to Elliot and putting pressure on his wound. "EL! Look at me! Please look at me." She got out her walkie talkie, knowing it was the fastest way to get an ambulance there. "Portable to central! We have an officer down at 84th and East, apartment 7B!"

He was breathing, then opened his eyes. "Liv..."  
>She leaned down and kissed him. "Don't talk. Help is coming, just hang on."<p>

She sat there with him until the paramedics got there. She saw them wheel Kathy's body out in a body bag. She had so much anger towards the woman she had met only moments ago.

Olivia jumped in the ambulance with Elliot, watching them work on his wound. She held his hand all the way there, praying he would be okay. Everything was moving in slow motion.

Olivia had to leave him when they got him to surgery. She didn't want to, but she had to. She went and sat in the waiting room, distraught she might lose him. She called Cragen right away. How was she going to explain Elliot being at her apartment so late though? Just more of a mess she didn't need right now.

"Family of Elliot Stabler?," the doctor stated.

"Right here," Olivia stood up slowly awaiting the news. "Is he going to be okay?" Her heart was beating a million miles a minute.

"He's going to be fine. The bullet missed all important arteries. He's going to be sore for a few weeks, and the use of his arm will be minimal. He's asleep right now, but you can go back and see him if you want to."

When the doctor said that, she ran to his room. She sighed heavily and started crying again. What if she had lost him?

They were so close to losing each other, she never told him how much she loved him. She had been so caught up fighting it that she never truly told him.

She wasn't going to make that mistake again.

Olivia pulled up a chair next to the bed. She sat there with the love of her life, holding his hand, until she fell asleep.

**#$%^&*^%$#**

**Wow. So close! they were so close to being together again, but then that crazy lunatic kathy had to come and screw it up lol. not my original plan to do what i did but it made for more drama ;) gotta love drama!**  
><strong>thanks for reading! :) reviews are appreciated!<strong>


	13. Welcome home

**i am glad that so many ppl like the story! thanks so much for reviewing/adding to your alerts! :) your reviews make me smile lol. theres a break in the middle of the chap. i think you will all be pleased with this chapter! hahahaha.  
>and yes MHfanSmoezz, i agree, with about everyone else that loves SVU. he should come back :) <strong>

**#$#%^&^$^**

She awoke to see him staring at her. "El..."  
>"Liv, you didn't have to say. Doc says I'm gonna be fine." He squeezed her hand after seeing the tears starting to form.<p>

"I did have to. I almost lost you twice in one day. The world has something against me," she said chuckling as she started tearing up.

"No, it doesn't. Kathy has something against you. Speaking of, where is that crazy bitch?," he said peering around the room.

"She uhm, shot herself in the apartment. Police are scouring the place, and there's no way I can go back there anyways after everything."

He had a thought. They couldn't afford a new place, but they had his place still. "Well, we could stay at my place for right now, if it's okay with you, until we figure something else out. If you want to figure something else out..." He didn't know what last night meant. She might pull away from him again.

She kissed him. "I love you." It was the first time she said it, and she knew she needed to say it. Never again would she take life with him for granted.  
>He gave a small smile. "I love you, too. Liv, I meant what I said last night. I'm never leaving you again."<p>

"I know. I was being selfish and stupid and-" She started rambling.

"You were afraid. We can make up for lost time, though." He kissed her hand, then they heard the door open. She quickly let his hands go as it was Captain Cragen.

"Glad to see your okay. Olivia, I didn't know you were that attached to a rookie to cry over him just yet," he said as they all chuckled at the comment.

"Well, I wasn't expecting it either but Elliot and I have a trust already that I don't think could ever be replaced. I've only known him for 2 days and he gets me." She was speaking about the last 10 years, but Cragen didn't need to know that. Not yet at least.

"Elliot, you take all the time you need off. Your desk will be waiting for you. Olivia, can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Uh, sure..." She got up questioning in her mind what she possibly had done wrong.

"Huang told me his report for you. Are you okay now?"  
>"What did he tell you exactly?," she asked a bit offended that Huang would break privelage.<p>

"Nothing that you said to him, don't worry. But if your ever having trouble don't hesitate to come to me," Cragen told her.

"Thanks. Can I stay here with him today? I wanna make sure he is in fact okay," she asked shyly.

"Yeah, as long as your okay with Fin and Munch interrogating Gonzales," he said.

"I'm sure we'll live," she chuckled.

"Alright, well I'll see you guys later then."

"Yeah, thanks Cap."

"No problem."

He leaned into the room to tell Elliot bye and get well and then left.

"Do you want anything El?"

"No but if this is how it's gonna be for a few days I could get used to it," he gave a Stabler look.  
>"Hey, I don't have to if you don't want me to. I could just leave your ass sitting here alone with nothing to do," she said with her eyebrow raised.<p>

"I was joking and you know it." He grinned. "What time is it anyways?"

"Around 8 am. I finally slept, and I found out why I wasn't sleeping."  
>"Why?," he asked curiously.<p>

"Because you weren't there." She looked in his beautiful blue eyes and never wanted to miss another moment with him again.

She grabbed his hands again. He leaned up to kiss her, her meeting him so he wouldn't have to move on his shoulder to much.

"Oh uh, Cragen's giving our interrogation to Munch and Fin, since your gonna stuck here for a few days," she told him.

"I wanted to be the one to put the nail in the coffin but we'll get em next time when I'm not shot in your apartment or held at gunpoint by a crazy bastard," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah definitely not the best circumstances," she smiled. "What are we gonna do El? I mean about us? Sure we'll stay at your place, but what do we do when everyone finds out? Cragen won't be to thrilled and IAB and 1PP are gonna be up our asses. Their gonna split us up." She was terrified at that thought.

"Who needs to know?," he asked with an unconcerned tone to his voice.

"Someone is bound to find out..."

"Not if we don't tell them."

"True...It's one thing not to worry about then."

"Yeah."

They sat there talking for hours, finally talking without Olivia putting her walls up. She couldn't wait to get him home to finish what was started in her apartment.

**#$%^&%$##$%**

Elliot getting checked out of the hospital couldn't come soon enough. She had cleaned his place the day before and made everything perfect. She bought a new mattress and comforter set for their bedroom because she couldn't imagine sleeping in the same bed that Kathy and Elliot had been together in. She wanted to gag at the thought.

She cleaned out everything of Kathy's, putting it into trash bags and setting them on the road. She removed all signs that Kathy had even been there; pictures, jewelry, perfume, and anything else she could find.

She blindfolded him as she walked him into the room.  
>"Ta da!" She smiled as she unblocked his eyes to show him.<p>

"Liv, you didn't have to do all of this." His smile told what he was feeling though. He looked relieved and excited to share that bed with the woman he loved more than anything or anyone else. He turned around and continued kissing her. Even with a bum shoulder it didn't mean he was useless.

He wrapped his right arm and firmly squeezed her ass, causing her to chuckle and moan.  
>"Somebody's eager," she said as she felt him harden against her.<p>

"Three years overdue," he said seductively. He kissed her jawline and neck. She leaned her head back, allowing him better access.

"We better move to the bed..." Olivia said, now pressed against the wall.

He groaned. "I could stay here all day."

He lifted her t shirt over her head, breaking their kiss. He held his right hand around her lower back and quickly moved her to the bed. She moved her hands to his shirt and lifted it with ease over his head.

She moaned as he reached around and unclasped her bra. He continued kissing his way down her neck and chest slowly. He latched onto a nipple and sucked. "Fuck El," she moaned and arched her back as her breathing increased.

"Now whose the eager one?," he chuckled as he continued his assault.  
>She couldn't speak. Three years of anticipation, for this moment. She felt like she was going to explode just from that.<p>

He trailed his way down to her pants. He lifted his head. "This is a problem."

"Yeah...Whose...gonna fix that?," she said through labored breathing.  
>"I'm one lucky son of a bitch today," he chuckled as he pulled off her loose fitting sweatpants. "No underwear."<br>"No point..."

"True, makes my job easier." He moved up her body and kissed her passionately before moving to her thighs.  
>She squirmed as he kissed. "Ticklish." He used his right hand to start tweaking her nipple. She arched her back again. He was centimeters away from her aching center.<p>

"I...need you," she said, feeling the wetness pool between her legs the longer she laid there.  
>"Not yet. I said we were making up for 3 years." He smelled her, he was having trouble contolling his urges to take her.<p>

She was almost whining. "Dammit, please El!" She was begging. She never begged.  
>"Patience is a virtue Liv." He chuckled at her desparation.<p>

"Patience...can go screw itself!," she yelled out of frustration.  
>He kissed her inner thighs, and she tried moving her core towards where his mouth was.<p>

Finally he ended what torture he was giving to her and licked up her slit. "Fuck!" She could feel the fire already stirring in her entire body. She spread her legs as wide as she could get them for him. He licked her, avoiding her clit.

"EL! Oh my god!," she screamed as he licked her slowly. He hadn't even done anything yet. He brought his right hand to her center and entered her with 2 fingers, slowly stroking her.  
>"FUCK!" Her back arched as high as it could off of the bed. She grabbed the bedspread and gave it a death grip.<p>

He felt her constricting around his fingers tightly and he knew she was close. He put his mouth directly on her clit and sucked as hard as he could, adding a third finger.  
>"OH MY GOD! EL!" She screamed louder as he started moving.<br>He moved his fingers faster as he licked and sucked her clit.

"Holy...SHIT!" She threw her head back as she felt her orgasm rip through her body. Her toes curled involuntarily and every muscle tightened as her body convulsed violently. He licked up everything as it flowed out of her.

He slowed down a bit. The aftershocks started, and he continued to suck on her clit. "Fuck EL!" She couldn't say anything else to him. She grabbed the back of his head harshly. She was sore and she didn't care. It felt to good.

He moved from her clit and inserted his tongue into her, swirling around inside until she started contracting again. He tweaked her clit with his fingers, moving fast back and forth from side to side then up and down.

"EL!," she repeated. She screamed as her second orgasm coursed through her. He moved up on top of her and kissed her. She could taste herself on him. She felt how hard he was and moved his hands to his pants.

He kicked them off quickly and took off his boxer briefs with them. She grabbed his member and started stroking.  
>"Jesus Liv," he said in a half moan. She was careful not to hurt his shoulder as she took control and flipped them over.<p>

It was her turn to show him what he had been missing in three years. She was more experienced now and was going to show it off. She kissed her way down his body as he had done to her, taunting and teasing just as he had done.  
>"Liv...baby..." His breathing was ragged.<p>

"Are you begging Stabler?," she asked sarcastically.  
>"Pretty fucking close," he told her.<p>

"Payback's a bitch." She kissed him as he grabbed her ass with his one good hand.

She touched the tip with a light touch, and she felt him twitch. She chuckled at him. She grabbed him and started working him up quickly, then she would move slow. She alternated between speeds as he yelled and groaned her name.

She finally licked his length, once.

"Jesus Liv." He moaned as he went to grab at her hair.

After hearing this, and seeing his actions, she retreated, backing away completely from him. Getting tired of this game that she was playing, he mustered up the strength he had and pinned her down beneath him.

He used his right hand to pin her hands so she couldn't fight, not that she wanted to.  
>"This isn't fair," she said snidely.<br>"And what you did to me...was that fair?," he furrowed his eyebrows with a tiny smirk on his face.  
>"You started it..." she said as he started sucking her pulse point, causing all thoughts to be lost. She moaned loudly.<p>

He reached over with his left arm, sore but usable, and grabbed cuffs. She didn't see him do this because she was to focused on his body on top of hers. He kissed her as he maneuvered the cuffs through the headboard, then quickly snapping her hands inside them.  
>"What the fu-" He cut her off with a seering kiss.<p>

"Hmmm, who knew, Olivia Benson would be trapped on a bed, all for me," he chuckled as he began his torture on her all over again.

"I should have thought of this earlier," he said as he kissed up and down her body, making her anxious and needy for him to fulfill the fire burning within her.

"Elliot, I swear to god...if you don't do...something..." she started, trying to gather the thoughts and turn them into words, with no avail to the torture.

"What? You'll tattle on me to Cragen?," he asked sarcastically.

"Asshole," she remarked.  
>"No need to call names," he smirked as he placed himself between her legs. He touched his tip at her entrance, causing her to arch her back again.<p>

"EL! PLEASE! I'll never do anything again! Please..."

He was giving into her begging. He lowered himself onto her as he entered her slowly.

She didn't want slow, she needed this now. "Faster!"

He knew it was causing her pain but pleasure. He moved a bit faster, the fire within her coming up quickly.

"Liv, I love you."

She looked at him, straining to keep her eyes open, "I love you...too El! Oh fuck!" He pumped into her and her orgasm took over. She bucked to meet his thrusts and he reached between them and moved over her clit. She was gone. She strained against the cuffs keeping her arms hostage, wanting to touch him, to feel him. He was fighting his release.

After three more thrusts, each causing her to moan out, he released deep within her.

He collapsed next to her, stilling within her. He kissed her passionately.

She felt the violent, pleasure filled after shocks. "Three years lost, wow," was all she could say as her breathing returned to normal.  
>"Incredible. I can't believe what I was missing." He smiled as he looked at her.<p>

"El..."

"Yeah?"

"Can you uncuff me now?," she asked, confused as to why he hadn't yet.

"Nope."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because I might want to go for round two in a little bit." He chuckled as she laughed and rolled her eyes.

Three years finally made up for.

**#$%^*(*&^%$**

**Well then, I hope you all liked them being reunited ;) more to come! as long as everyone still likes it. i tried making it original.  
>thanks for reading, and as i always say, reviews are always appreciated! :) <strong>


	14. It's only the beginning

**I assume everyone liked the last chap? ;)**  
><strong>thanks to whoever is still adding the storyme to your faves list :D i appreciate it so much!**  
><strong>and i would be very intimidated if they ever took a chap from my story brokenangelx1 lol! i would be flattered tho :D <strong>

**so i think this will be the last chap just because there is nowhere else to take the storyline. i dont wanna do a wedding and all that because they all end like that! lol **

**$%#$^^#$**

The alarm was their enemy that morning.

They had only slept maybe 2 hours. He woke up, he hit the alarm quickly. He was wrapped around her, and it felt perfect. Their bodies entangled, they were a perfect fit in every aspect of their relationship. He was still inside of her, and after a long night, he had uncuffed her. He could see the faint bruises from where she had struggled against them. Elliot just watched her as she slept. She started stirring and moaning a bit as she opened her eyes.

"Morning," he whispered.

"Morning." She smiled at him. God she missed him. She missed waking up to him, and now he was finally all hers again. This is how it should be, and how it should have been. She fought it for to long.

Olivia didn't even know how she had the strength to do it as long as she had.

"Ya know, we have to move sometime today El," she said, realizing it was already 5:45.

"Yeah, unfortunately," he chuckled and kissed her as if it were the first time.

"I love you so much Liv." He looked into her chocolate orbs as he had been doing since they were kids.  
>"I love you, too El." They shared another kiss. Long, languid, passionate.<p>

They moved out of bed into the shower, she moaned as he removed himself from within her.

They moved with each other, all morning, no matter what they did. They left the apartment at 6 30, a bit late.

"Elliot, I thought I told you to take more time off," Cragen said as they walked into the precinct.  
>"I thought I could be on desk duty, if that's okay," he asked, because it meant he could be with Olivia most of the day at least.<p>

Cragen sighed. "I guess, that's fine. If you need anything let me know." He walked back into his office.

"Glad to see our rookie back. It's still a conspiracy though," Munch said.  
>"Thanks Munch," Elliot said sarcastically in return.<p>

"Welcome back man. Yo babygirl you look different," Fin said out of nowhere.  
>"Uhm maybe its the clothes?," Olivia said, looking at her clothes then sitting at her desk.<p>

"Nah, I can't put my finger on it. It's a good look whatever it is. Oh well," he said as he returned to his paperwork.

Elliot looked at her slyly. He knew why she looked different. She was happy for the first time in a while, and so was he. Their colleagues didn't need to know that, though.

All day, they shared looks with each other. Fin and Munch noticed, but didn't say anything. Olivia got called out a few times and he was left to do paperwork at his desk. Once Olivia was gone, Munch and Fin took the oppertunity to confront him.

"Yo man, why didn't you tell us you two were together?," Fin said quietly to him with a smile on his face.

Elliot was shocked, but then he played stupid to the remark. "No we're not. We're just really close."  
>"We have eyes you know," Munch said leaning in closer, peering over his glasses looking at him so no one could hear the conversation.<p>

"I have no idea what you guys are talkin about." He figured playing stupid might get them off the subject. It didn't work.  
>"Whatever, you two have been givin each other the look all day," Fin said returning to his desk.<p>

"What look is that?," Elliot asked sarcastically.

Fin and Munch then sat at their desks and acted like Olivia and Elliot had been acting, giving each other 'dreamy eyes.' Elliot started laughing.  
>"That is not how we look at each other!," Elliot yelled, laughing.<p>

"Yes it is. We know man, but we'll keep it between us," Fin said.  
>Elliot gave his thanks for that. That's the last thing him and Olivia needed after everything was IAB Cragen's and their asses with it.<p>

Olivia returned a short while later with a new case in hand. Elliot informed her.  
>"They know," he said looking over at Munch and Fin. Her eyes widened. "What the- How?"<br>"They saw us looking at each other earlier. Apparently we give very googly, 'dreamy eyes," he said laughing with air quotes. "Their keepin it secret though."

She gave them thanks.

So for now, their secret was safe. How would they explain that to Cragen? It would sound crazy if she ever say, 'Yeah we knew each other since we were kids. We had a place together in high school, he went to the Marines, then I got a job here, then a month later he got a job just to try to get me back. He loves the job though.'

She shook the thought as she went through the years of her life, how it went from complete hell, to paradise when they got together, then back to complete hell again when he left. Now it was full circle and everything was in place, back in paradise, without the beach.

They couldn't turn back in time, all they could do was look forward to the future. He regretted leaving, and she knew how deeply it hurt both of them for him to leave her the way he did. He was going to make it up to her, by being with her as much as he could. He was never leaving her again.

He made his greatest mistake by leaving. He came back, and took his greatest risk with her. They were together, and now they were going to live the greatest life possible.

**!$#%##^#^#**

**as much as i wanted to continue the story it felt right to leave it there. to anyone interested in knowing that didnt know, i have another story! its called Rookie, and its not like this one! lol. i will start another story shortly hopefully.**

**thanks for reading again and happy holidays all! :) **


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